I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
