Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
