is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
