just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
