You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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