i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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