Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
