if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
