I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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