dude i'm inner monologue high
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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