I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
