i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
COCAINE IS GR8
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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