He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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