Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize