We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize