how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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