Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They took my balls.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize