Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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