you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I am available for nakedness
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
