i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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