I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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