Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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