we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
