from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
