Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
