I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
