Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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