Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
