But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
