The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
