i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
