i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize