Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize