the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
