All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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