News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This is classic penis vs brain.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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