Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize