Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you would pick up someone in the library
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
