Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
