I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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