In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
