You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
