I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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