ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
