Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
