I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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