Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
