Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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