Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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