no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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