i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
