absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize