Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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