i just had sex bonerless
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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