How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
