we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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