Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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