I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
