white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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