I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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