We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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