oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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