TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
