I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
