How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
