Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize