We need to rekindle our bromance
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
