I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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