fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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