I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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