I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
