I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
