Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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