you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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